Wednesday, April 2, 2014

THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING!!




Difficult to comprehend how the man pictured above can get his foot into that mouth but he apparently does, with sublime ease.

He claims his 8% poll rating will rise "when people get to know him better"!!

With only charitable intentions in mind here are a few pointers;

Raises white ants for a hobby.

Reported to the Securities Commission in 2006 after torpedoing Telecoms Share Price.

In consort with the Ginga green performed a similar destruction of the issue price for Mighty River Power and severly denting all energy shares on the NZX.

Sticky fingers in the dodgy contretemps around the Hawkes Bay DHB shenanigans with colleague Annette King.

Wrote up a piece of imaginative fiction and used it as a CV.

Attacked the PM for living in a leafy suburb while MP for Helensville, ignoring his own residence in Herne Bay while MP for New Lynn. Later attempted a rewrite, it was really a  "do up", only  purchased so his missus could breastfeed his spawn near her work.

Ambitious very early, played Jesus in a school play.

Regarded by contemporaries at Otago university as a "conservative" raising the eyebrows of many who saw a natural affinity with National, by throwing his lot in with Labour
Had a Road to Damascus revelation on the road to the skifields, working in a fast food takeaway. Locals bought fish and chips and skiers bought hamburgers, seen as a distinction between "rich and poor". LOL nothing to do with convenience, eating while travelling and all that.
This from a kid just making a dollar to help out his family, by working while rich pricks played.

Was instrumental in the formation of Dairy Giant Fonterra, later amended to doing groundwork, getting smaller and smaller as an involvement, finally settling at somewhere near a few hours analysis

Manages supurbly to tailor his little homilies to fit with any current audience.
"we will attack those capitalists to a union group, we will give full support to enterprises struggling under the yolk of corporate cuddling to a small business group and fulsome praise for corporates that he accepts are where the funding for NZInc comes from, when they are the audience.

What you see has a barely passing reference to what you will get.

After giving wholesome and total support to David Shearer in his travails as Labour leader he loyally and selflessly stepped up when  Shearer faltered.
Had a loyal lieutenant, one Greg Presland, assist with gaining funding through a Secret TRUST and then promised to send their money back to two donors who did not want their identity revealed when the excrement hit the rotary.
No proof needed, he is an honorable man who occasionally attends church and has never told a lie.

Do we have our very own George Washington?

Rated by his Parliamentary colleagues by a whopping 32% plurality in the caucus vote for leader.

Has a way with words that leaves his closest supporters gasping, a classic from the HB DHB debacle,
 "nasty little nest of self-perpetuating provincial elites".

And on his annointing as Labour leader;

"I'm not expecting to have [Key's] trousers around his ankles on the first meeting". on his election as leader in response as to how he will confront the Prime Minister at the next question time. 

If this man who would be king, is the answer, then a massive rewrite of the question is in order.

John Key has been named as "The Silent Assassin", would I be rude in suggesting David Cunliffe is "The Mixed Metaphor".

Still trying to be helpful and all.

6 comments:

The Veteran said...

Good post GD .... I am at a loss to figure the guy out. Prepared to 'manufacture' a story to get a headline knowing it is wrong and that he will be found out further denting his almost non- credibility.

Take his latest outburst on the ICJ decision to ban whaling in the southern ocean. Claimed it was an Australian victory and that NZL had been found wanting, sitting on its hands.

The truth of the matter is that the case was a joint initiative by both governments with NZL represented at the Hague by a heavyweight team including the Attorney-General, the Deputy Solicitor-General, an Ambassador, five MFAT staff and one of the Attorney-General’s staff.

The truth is all the more embarrassing for Cunliffe when it was revealed that the last Labour Government of which he was a Minister had dropped legal action against the Japanese following advice from a certain Sir Geoffrey Palmer that they could not possibly win.

So can some-one enlighten me as to why a PM in waiting would set out, yet again, to destroy his own credibility.

Anonymous said...

Cunliffe has been singing from Obama's song sheet.

Trouble is, he hasn't bothered to check how that's working out.

Mrs Danvers

Edward the Confessor said...

Oh poor Danvers! You mean a successful two-term head of government? Did old man Danvers not give you the bad news?

gravedodger said...

Backward is back.

Successful HaHahaha, as in Pol Pot I guess.
Comedy hour commenced at 1800 hrs

O'Bama is the Chief of state and Commander in Chief of the military, the government rests with the congress, the cabinet under the president is subordinate and can only serve with the appointment to cabinet being confirmed by the Senate, the Judiciary is truly independent. If both the House of Representatives and the Senate don't fund it , it don't happen.

Your hero is arguably the worst president since WW2, he makes even the peanut farmer look great and that is testimony indeed.
History will not be kind to the first Afro American POTUS.

Putin is possibly the happiest man around today.
Think how many perished in 1854/55 and again in 1941/2 at Sevastopol, Putin strolled in in a week, conquered the entire Crimean Peninsula including the fortress of Sevastopol and not a shot fired.
He Da Man Dat Bigears guy, selling the free world down the river since 2009, awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for doing absolutely nothing, worshiped by Backward the Confuser as the Messaiah.
What more could a man want?

Psycho Milt said...

Kind of funny to see all the right-wingers fawning over Putin - but then, I guess he is the very epitome of how they define "successful."

Edward the Confessor said...

Keep em coming, Gravetodger you comic genius. You get funnier by the day. Worshipping an authoritarian dictator with no respect for the rule of law, while smearing the guy who rescued the US economy following Bush (one of yours) and won two elections landslides. And you totally misunderstand the nature and functions of the various arms of the US government. You're hilarious.