Difficult to comprehend how the man pictured above can get his foot into that mouth but he apparently does, with sublime ease.
He claims his 8% poll rating will rise "when people get to know him better"!!
With only charitable intentions in mind here are a few pointers;
Raises white ants for a hobby.
Reported to the Securities Commission in 2006 after torpedoing Telecoms Share Price.
In consort with the Ginga green performed a similar destruction of the issue price for Mighty River Power and severly denting all energy shares on the NZX.
Sticky fingers in the dodgy contretemps around the Hawkes Bay DHB shenanigans with colleague Annette King.
Wrote up a piece of imaginative fiction and used it as a CV.
Attacked the PM for living in a leafy suburb while MP for Helensville, ignoring his own residence in Herne Bay while MP for New Lynn. Later attempted a rewrite, it was really a "do up", only purchased so his missus could breastfeed his spawn near her work.
Ambitious very early, played Jesus in a school play.
Regarded by contemporaries at Otago university as a "conservative" raising the eyebrows of many who saw a natural affinity with National, by throwing his lot in with Labour
Had a Road to Damascus revelation on the road to the skifields, working in a fast food takeaway. Locals bought fish and chips and skiers bought hamburgers, seen as a distinction between "rich and poor". LOL nothing to do with convenience, eating while travelling and all that.
This from a kid just making a dollar to help out his family, by working while rich pricks played.
Was instrumental in the formation of Dairy Giant Fonterra, later amended to doing groundwork, getting smaller and smaller as an involvement, finally settling at somewhere near a few hours analysis
Manages supurbly to tailor his little homilies to fit with any current audience.
"we will attack those capitalists to a union group, we will give full support to enterprises struggling under the yolk of corporate cuddling to a small business group and fulsome praise for corporates that he accepts are where the funding for NZInc comes from, when they are the audience.
What you see has a barely passing reference to what you will get.
After giving wholesome and total support to David Shearer in his travails as Labour leader he loyally and selflessly stepped up when Shearer faltered.
Had a loyal lieutenant, one Greg Presland, assist with gaining funding through a Secret TRUST and then promised to send their money back to two donors who did not want their identity revealed when the excrement hit the rotary.
No proof needed, he is an honorable man who occasionally attends church and has never told a lie.
Do we have our very own George Washington?
Rated by his Parliamentary colleagues by a whopping 32% plurality in the caucus vote for leader.
Has a way with words that leaves his closest supporters gasping, a classic from the HB DHB debacle, "nasty little nest of self-perpetuating provincial elites".
And on his annointing as Labour leader; "I'm not expecting to have [Key's] trousers around his ankles on the first meeting". on his election as leader in response as to how he will confront the Prime Minister at the next question time.
If this man who would be king, is the answer, then a massive rewrite of the question is in order.
John Key has been named as "The Silent Assassin", would I be rude in suggesting David Cunliffe is "The Mixed Metaphor".